Parenting Teens
My wife and I are going crazy(crazier) trying to figure out what to do with our 14 year old daughter. She has no friends, doesn't leave her room, and is not eating healthy. This has all started since she began high school a few months ago. Now it is fall break for a week, and we don't want her to spend the whole week in her room doing nothing.
In the past, we sent her to the Boys and Girls club, but it is now 14 dollars per day, which we really can't afford right now. Oh yeah, the lack of money thing is another issue. Anyway, she needs to be social, and hanging out with kids her own age. The problem is that she has major anger issues, and takes things out on whoever is closest, hence the lack of friends.
Her therapist (who sees her every other week) says that she is doing well, and it's okay for her to not be hanging out with friends. We are telling her that it is not okay, but she is not listening.
The other major issue we are having with Jessica is that she is not eating right, and appears to have lost weight. This scares the crap out of us, since there seems to be nothing we can do to convince her to eat, and she doesn't have any extra weight to be lost. We know that eating disorders come with sexual abuse (which she experienced from her biological father), but it is very frustrating feeling so helpless.
If anyone out there knows of some great resources to help with any of these issues, I would really appreciate you letting us know. Do you know someone with anger issues, or an eating disorder? Have you experienced these things yourself? How did you get through it? How could your parents have helped? Let me know. Thanks
Technorati Tags: eating disorders, anger, therapy, high school, teen girls
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7 comments:
Does her school have any volunteer requirements for graduation? When a kid has to get busy with others and help out someone "less fortunate" be it at a hospital or an animal shelter they are forced to think beyond themselves, without a lecture.
Choose your battles carefully. Fighting over food only makes it a bigger issue. Can she help in the preparation of the family meals?
How long has she been with her current counselor, how do you feel about the progress she has made and are you parents ever involved in the process? Not just with instructions, but with family sessions?
just a few thoughts...
Hi Debbie,
Thanks so much for the comment. Her school does not have any volunteer requirements for graduation, but we are working on getting her involved in a local teen volunteer organization.
As for the meal preparation, she does help me out with that, and our specialty is currently lasagna.
She has had this counselor for less than a year, and we don't feel she is making progress. She is a master manipulator with counselors, though we are involved with family sessions too, and let the counselor know what is going on with Jessica weekly.
I really appreciate the suggestions. Thank you.
it sounds like you're doing the right things ...
do keep in mind that spending lots of time alone is not unusual for adolescents.
I've been suffering from eating disorders for many years. Whatever you do, don't force her to eat; she'll just find new ways to lose it again. Don't blame yourself, in most cases the origins of the behaviour are complex. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. A good website on eating disorders is Something Fishy:
http://www.something-fishy.org/. On their link page you can find a lot of other sites. Something to watch: http://www.facetheissue.com/anorexiamovie.html
Good luck!
Love, Tink
this may sound lame- but how about getting her involved in sports, band or some other extra curricular activity?
I don't know if you've seen this blog but it has some very interesting posts that deal with anger etc .. you might want to check it out:
http://teensuicidetalk.com/
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